Birthright

by Naomi on November 20, 2019

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It has been a long time since my fingers have glided along these keys. It feels amazing to be back for no other reason then the sheer delight of wandering around to make life up as we go.

In this moment, I feel as though the past few years have been a quiet, gradual and very deep integration of all that I have learned, known, practiced and taught. I have discovered with great joy, pain, delight, frustration, grief and deep love, that the experience of deep living I was about to embark on did not care who I had been, what I had, who I knew, or where I thought I was going. The only requirement was to show up, let go of any outcome and live from that inward place moment to moment, trusting I was my own midwife in the process.

Shockingly, what has taken place has not been at all to better prepare me to live in the world that I ‘knew’, instead it was preparing me, like birthing, for my departure, of sorts.

The letting go that preceded it all felt like I imagine death would feel like. I was freeing what once was contained deep within my human body AND all the ways I sought to hold that in check. My birthright. The right we each carry to simply BE and live from here.

It was an intensely inward period of my life and yet so expansive in ways very few in my outside world could see but that felt very real from where I sat. As my old habits of being and my stealth, meticulously created ego that held them in place began to fade, an immense space began to open that felt so unknown to me, yet incredibly familiar at the same time. You want me to live from here?? I could hear a small voice inside me protest.

I want to say it was terrifying because that is what my mind would have had me believe but it wasn’t, I was ready. Under the intensity of what was dying and what was being birthed, I began to touch the stripped down, simpler and truer expression of me, merging with Life, realizing the two were never meant to be separate from the moment we arrive. I was still in the world, as many people hold it, but was beginning to realize I was really no longer of it.

I could sense that a transition was happening and knew I needed to let go of building a business and a brand and the social media that went with it all, to dig deeper then ‘that’ cultured me. It has been a beautifully humbling year as I have turned inward, embodying the non-commoditized ‘me’ and in the process becoming the mom I did not have the courage to embrace for may years as I sought to ‘create’ something of worth in the world around me.

I continually allowed the simple but very complex process of both birth and death, that was happening within me simultaneously this past year, until I could once again touch the roots of my existence and feel the ‘me’ that lived so much deeper than the surface world would reflect back to me.

Little by little my life and my family’s life has become surprisingly quiet, peaceful, simple and lived with much deeper meaning. I stopped searching, building and lining up the next ‘thing’ (not without struggle in the beginning) and slowly began enjoying and trusting the Deep Living that takes place in between two worlds (the old one and the emerging one that is happening on our planet right now).

Out of the blue, as life would have it in the game of letting go, my longtime friend and mentor Louise LeBrun introduced me to Dean Walker, the host of the podcast The Poetry of Predicament. I listened to a provoking podcast with Dean and Jillan Cantor on Collapse Aware Parenting. I was intrigued by the interview and I could feel an inner rumbling. This rumbling felt different, it came from a deeper, truer space inside than it has in the past. Out of curiosity, I said YES to recording a podcast with Dean about my own experience of Parenting in the face of Global Collapse.

I have to admit when heard the word collapse I thought about it in the way that so many speak of it these days and it conjured up the fitting feelings of doom and gloom, fear, chaos and deep uncertainty. I knew I was not in denial of what was happening in the world around me but yet I was not letting fear, rage, uncertainty, chaos or grief chart my course on this planet. Where does this leave me, I thought.

The word was still not sitting well inside me going into our conversation. I thought to myself, I know that world well. I have lived that world, grieved that world and more importantly I have grieved the person I was and felt I needed to be and how I chose to parent my children in it. What I was aware of going into the call is that I am no longer that person or that parent, the integration, the deeply personal life choices and shifts had taken me someplace different but my clarity around it all was still forming.

Vulnerable but undeterred by the feelings that stirred and still curious, I looked up the definition of collapse. What literally jumped off the page at me were the words, ‘to give way‘. What if this global collapse we are seeing all around us is simply to give way, to free what has long been contained… My heart started to beat strongly in my chest as I recognized this past year was simply giving way to a very different existence on this earth, one that did not map to the ‘business as usual’ world around me and instead gave way to to the birthright we all contain that is sacred, eternal and is to be lived without introduction.

The podcast, Conscious living and parenting in the face of global collapse (click here to listen) with Dean ended up being a beautiful hour of the two of us standing on our own thresholds, trusting ourselves to go deeper into the heart of parentinglife and an emerging world where the two do not have to be held as separate.   

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Free Diving

by Naomi on June 30, 2019

DSC_5273The salt mist was heavy in the early morning air, making my coffee taste even better as I made my way to the quiet beach in downtown Honolulu to embark on day 1 of my Freediving Course.

With anything new I have this nervous excitement that indicates I am about to depart from my comfort zone into a whole new world.

And when something feels like a giant YES, like this has, I dive in whole heartedly (pun intended). As I continued to the beach I got to meet my passionate but down to earth instructor and the small but mighty group that would have my back in the ocean and right there I knew I had signed up for the right course.

It turns out that Freediving is actually a part of our genetic code and all we were about to do today was activate it. Not by learning about it but by being educated to trust what our bodies know as we do it.

So powerful.

We were taught to trust the triggering of our mostly dormant , mammillary reflex…the same one mammals use in the ocean. Mind blowing, yet so intuitive.

Before I knew it I was trusting my body in 3 minute breath holds and coming to understand that continuing to relax through the ‘urge to breathe’ is like continuing to push up a hill when you are running and your legs fill with lactic acid….each time, you build capacity for more depth and longer time. (There are symptoms that you do look out for so you don’t blackout but the urge to breathe is not one of them).

All of this fascinates me because I can see the incredible parallel to what is happening in the world right now. Even though our humanity feels deeply unstable right now, I believe it is simply creating the conditions or ‘trigger’ to activate the genetic code of our Souls, for us to come to know ourselves as far greater than what we have been taught.

Today was a great reminder to trust the activation, even when it feels like the world inside us and all around us is falling apart…we are actually triggering a greater awareness and ability to build capacity for our own monumental potential.

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by Naomi on June 30, 2019

IMG_9821Our Family jumped off the status quo train a few years ago, leaving behind a life that no longer lined up, and all the ideas, institutions, jobs and trappings that went with it.

We have radically shifted to become a family of life long learners, trusting our instincts to follow our inner stars. Our lives continue to change as we grow, having more freedom to let go over and over again to focus on what truly matters NOW.

For 10 years my personal growth was found in powerful conversations with small groups of amazing women. In these spaces I found the direction back to myself. I am forever grateful.

I now find my growth and greatest JOY blossoming in my simple life in Hawaii, nurturing myself, my family and a quaint property that welcomes people from all over the world. As I continue to simplify life, it now gives back to me in ways I cannot explain.

My life has gone from a grand vision, to exquisitely real, felt moments, from becoming to being, from longing to deep satisfaction. My inner circle has become smaller and my love for life greater.

My only business plan these days is SERENDIPITY.

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The Work

by Naomi on June 30, 2019

DSC_1246For a long time I believed the most important ‘work’ I could do was outside my home. Now I know differently. THIS is it. This is truly the greatest impact I can have, at this point in my life. For me, for them and for the WORLD.

At the end of the day there is no praise, no accolades and no shout outs but I can look myself in the eyes and know I have made the difference in the lives of two humans and everyone they come in contact with.

‘Parenting’ is THE toughest, most beautiful ‘work’ I have ever done. Some moments I love and some drop me straight to my knees.

We do not have perfect lives by a long shot but we are learning together that true resiliency does not come from fighting life out there, it comes when we turn to face ourselves in the midst of our greatest challenges and grow into a person we can love because of them.

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Happy Birth-Day

by Naomi on June 30, 2019

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As I head into my 41st year here on this beautiful blue dot, my birthday present to myself is to pause and reflect on my own incredible journey that has lead me to this very moment.

I have had, what I consider, some of the richest experiences with the most amazing people. I have created such great capacity for all of me to exist within, at the same time.

I have stayed true to myself through the ups and downs, the certainty and the doubts, abundance and scarcity, dreams coming true and failures. I have soared and I have fallen. I have grown babies in my body and birthed miracles, built businesses and let them go, held space for my own growth with others, created and been a part of Sisterhood, travelled the world, relocated across the globe and humbly stated over from scratch.

I have witnessed both birth and death, hurt and been hurt, supported and loved and allowed myself to be deeply loved. I have laughed so heartily and cried so hard that I thought my heart and soul would burst wide open. I have come to know myself even deeper through my experience of being woman, daughter, mother, wife, massage therapist, life coach, friend, animal lover, space holder, doula, writer and entrepreneur.

I know what it is to believe and doubt myself, resist and accept myself, love and hate myself, to take risks and to be cautious, to push through and give up on myself, to be uber confident and to have crippling fear, to live a lifestyle and to live a Life, to be open hearted and to protect myself, to rise and collapse in on myself, to feel the greatest joy and the deepest sorrow, to be both selfish and self-less, to remember who I AM and forget it all…in a breath.

All of this to arrive in this moment, face to face with a truth that I know will radically change the course of my life as I have known it.

I am taking my 41st year to simply live like it is my last.

I am retiring from what I know and what I have been taught about building a life to live at a later date. I am no longer building a business, a brand, or having my identity attached to what I ‘do’ for the long term.

The Year to Live program I thought I was offering to others this year has turned out to be the biggest invitation to myself!

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The Story of My Soul

by Naomi on June 29, 2019

IMG_2599I came here with infinite potential…

with a finite story written into my flesh

and etched into my bones,

as a sometimes painful reminder for when I strayed from it.

Lineage. Loyalty. Bloodlines. Family. Culture. Habits. Patterns. Outer Safety.

I was told who I should be,

how I should be,

before I had a choice.

Sadly,

I spent a lifetime going along

or fighting a story that was never written for me.

Until I realized

a different story awaited…

My journey to freedom began.

Each time I bumped up against the tight, small, worn out story line

that had eventually become the oh so familiar

harsh voice in my head,

I chose to rewrite my story.

Instead of the frantic search outside,

I journeyed inward.

I began to hear the whisper of a different voice,

one that carried a different vibration…

then much of the world around me.

I lay my ear to my own body and listened.

Softly. Deeply. Gently. With Grace.

I intuitively knew there was something written much deeper,

etched into my dormant DNA, that told a different story.

The Story of my Soul.

It was never intended to be a scripted story with an outcome.

It is infinite and meant to be written as I live and experience LIFE.

My Story now sings louder and with more grace,

then the chaos of an old story that fights to hold me in check.

And when I go beyond the content of my life

I touch a tender, sweet spot,

where an activation older than time happens

that demands a different YES.

An inner YES.

A cosmic YES.

Photo Credit  Nancy Bell

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She Came Undone

by Naomi on June 4, 2019

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Sometimes the responsibility we hold for the world

and everyone around us

is meant to dissolve,

even if just for a moment.

Sometimes the seams of our lives and the world are

meant to come undone.

An undone where nothing is known

except the feeling of being

on the cusp.

Let the bottom fall out.

Trust there is something waiting

as we stop holding on.

Make way for the next LEAP.

So ‘let go’ whispers that voice inside.

You cannot get it wrong.

Stop trying to figure it out.

Stop and breathe

between what was

and what is yet to come.

The unknown has it’s own

breath

It’s own heartbeat.

The time has come to

surrender to the next

Cosmic

NOW.

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Dear Daughter

by Naomi on October 15, 2016

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Dear Daughter. I look at you in this picture and I see your knowing that goes beyond the horizon. Go BOLDLY in the direction of your knowing and let no one stand between you and the shaping of your world. I have your back.

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A Circle of Reciprocity

by Naomi on August 15, 2016

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I feel the circle,
both being in it and of it,
first for myself, then with each of you. 
Holding and being held.
Listening and being heard.
Sharing and receiving.
Loving and being loved.
Cherishing and being cherished.
Inviting and being invited.
A space with great intention,
without expectation,
without judgement,
where we each call to our own greatness
and hold space to move beyond limitations
at the same time.

Courageously call your circle and
boldly be a part of others.

Interconnect them and
you will see the Flower of Life
Emerge.

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Our Children are the Future

by Naomi on August 15, 2016

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This boy
His adventurous and wondrous Spirit for the world is contagious
His open heart and strong will makes him a force of Creation
His passion will spark your own
His innocence interconnects all life
He makes me smile

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